September 23rd Homework:
1. When did you transition to becoming a Man or
Woman, instead
of a boy or girl?
(This question is aimed at your physical transitions... your period, hair growing...what was it like, how did you feel?)
2. When did it occur to you that you were an
Adult? How did you know?
(Ultimately responsiblility for your life)
3.What were some major transitions you experienced
during adolescents?
(personal pains, triumphs or
changes)
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Aron
Can it be that I am really the first to do my homework?? Hard to believe, but ok, here goes.
#1 transition to womanhood: I did not go gently into that good night, as they say. I was the last among my friends to "become a woman" and even then I wasn't really ready. I had no desire to grow up. I was scared and uncomfortable with all the changes in my body and I wasn't comfortable talking with my parents about any of it. I remember when I first started developing breasts I was convinced that I had cancer & I agonized for days about how to bring it up to my mom. When I finally got around to saying something, it took my mom hours to coax it out of me and then she just laughed because she was so relieved that that was all I was trying to tell her about.
#2 when & how did you know you were an adult?
I'm still not %100 sure that I am an adult! There are moments when I feel I am, but then there are moments when I feel like I am faking it. Just being married, a parent, a tax-paying, voting, over 21 homeowner doesn't seem enough qualification for calling myself an adult. The times that I do feel like an adult usually come unexpectedly. For example, I am a big fan of roller coasters & I was concerned the first time we went to an amusement park when our oldest was little. I thought it was going to be hard not being able to ride the rides the whole time. But when we got there I found I was completely content to watch her on the kiddie rides and revel in her joy. Somehow being able to put her desires before mine, I felt more like an adult than I had by any more concrete means. However, I still feel that as an adult I should have more answers, more wisdom and fewer questions and insecurities than I do.But by that definition, I may never get there!
#3 Major transitions
Given my reluctance to grow up, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that my adolescence was a tumultuous time. My parents were very loving, but very lenient and I pushed the boundaries pretty far just to see if there were any. The pains are too many to mention, but the triumph was that I survived it and so did my parents, and our relationship was much stronger at 18, 19, 20 than it was at 13, 14, 15. I feel like I have spent the years since adolescence trying to distance myself from the painful memories and the mistakes I made, but I am realizing now that I have a teenager how valuable those experiences can be to me as I parent. The change I went through from following my parents in blind obedience as a child, to rebelling against everything as a teen, then finally coming to understand their choices and guidance as an adult gives me perspective as to where I want my children to end up on the other end of their adolescent years.
OK! Now it it someone else's turn!
I was a tomboy with older sister's so physically, I understood all that was going on with my body but mentally it was a moment when I was horsing around and wrestling with my best friend like we had always done, I was around 14, he pinned me and I suddenly felt different...I panicked and yelled at him to get off. I ran inside and began to cry because I knew at that moment my relationship would be different with my best friend. I think it was traumatic for both of us. (question 1)
When I went to college out of state and my parents could not support me financially to go to university, I took on multiple jobs, played athletics, and was a full time student...I realized my future was in my hands and my consequences were all my own...I was 19.
question 3: I don't really know how to verbalize my major transitions they were all so.........my loss of virginity was a big one, my first boyfriend, sexual assault, cancer, infertility, and acceptance that there was a God and He loved all of me but there was so many things going on at the same time that was connected with those occurances that I really think that all the circumstances in my life at those times made me transition, I guess it would be ages 15, 17, 19, and 22 those were the years that I was transitioning, each year forcing me to grow older if sometimes not wiser but as much as I hated those years they are also the most important years on my path to becoming a woman.
I still sometimes wonder how I got to be the age to be somebody's mom. It has just been the last couple years that I feel like I have truly entered into adulthood. I think this is due to physical changes that come with entering the first stages of middle age. I still rely so much on my parents for advice that I think I have delayed the onset of feeling solely responsible as an adult.
#1 I think it was my mustache becoming more prominent that first gave me a hint that I was becoming a Man.
#2 When my parents would ask my opinion on family matters as well as drive for them if they had been drinking to much.
#3 When I first discussed God with my GrandMother at age 8 or 9 (triumph), dealing with two step-mothers (painful and confusing at times), dealing with a physically abusive father (painful), running away at age 12 to live with mother (triumph), being raised by step-father who put his kids first (triumph, gift from God), overcoming shyness or at least making significant progress at age 17 when I ran to student body president and won (triumph) and finally joining the military and leaving for bootcamp at age 18 (triumph and was my final step to adulthood).
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